Chapter 7 - LENA WANTED ME TO BLAME TRAVIS ALONE
Lena asked to speak with me through our attorneys.
I refused twice.
The third time Rachel said:
“You may want to hear what she’s willing to admit.”
So we met in her attorney’s conference room.
Noah wasn’t there.
Lena looked exhausted.
“I didn’t know he would hit him.”
I said nothing.
“I swear.”
Still nothing.
“Michael.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“That you believe me.”
“I believe you didn’t know he would use a baseball bat.”
Relief appeared too quickly.
Then I continued.
“I also believe you knew Noah was afraid of him.”
Her face fell.
“I thought Noah was reacting to the divorce.”
“You texted Travis that Noah didn’t like being alone with him.”
“He’s four.”
“Yes.”
“He doesn’t understand relationships.”
“He understood fear.”
She started crying.
“I loved Travis.”
“That wasn’t Noah’s responsibility.”
“I know that now.”
“You knew Travis punched doors.”
“Yes.”
“You knew he screamed at Noah.”
“Yes.”
“You knew he broke his toy.”
“He threw it.”
I stared at her.
She closed her eyes.
“I hear how that sounds.”
“You should.”
“He kept saying you had poisoned Noah against him.”
“And you believed that?”
“Sometimes.”
“Why?”
Her answer took a long time.
“Because if I didn’t, I had to admit I brought someone unsafe into our lives.”
There it was.
Not ignorance.
Avoidance.
Lena looked at me.
“I kept thinking I could manage him.”
“You weren’t managing him.”
“I know.”
“You were managing Noah’s reaction to him.”
She started crying harder.
I didn’t comfort her.
The old version of me might have.
Not because I still loved her.
Because discomfort always made me want to fix the room.
I was learning not every uncomfortable thing belonged to me.
Lena wiped her face.
“I want my son back.”
“He isn’t an object.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Do I?”
She looked angry for one second.
Then ashamed.
“What happens now?”
“The court decides access.”
“You’re going to take him away from me.”
“No.”
I leaned forward.
“Your choices created a situation where other people now have to decide what contact is safe.”
She stared at me.
“That isn’t the same thing.”
For the first time, she didn’t argue.
Before leaving, she said:
“I hate Travis.”
I stopped.
“That’s easy now.”
She looked at me.
“What?”
“Hating him now costs you nothing.”
I opened the door.
“Listening to Noah earlier would have cost you the relationship.”
May you like
That was the choice she hadn’t been willing to make.
And our son had paid for it.
