Chapter 2

Her first instinct was to leave. Just leave. Find her coat, find the exit, get back to the apartment, and be done with it.
She had done nothing wrong. She did not owe this room or these people anything. She could go home, and she could work, and she could survive the way she always had — quietly, without incident, without anyone seeing.
She stood at the sink and ran cold water over her wrists. She thought about the heating repair bill. She thought about her father, who was sixty-one and had a bad back and had been between jobs for four months after the restaurant where he had worked for nine years had closed without warning. She thought about the shop lease.
She dried her hands, straightened the dress carefully — the seam held, for now, if she moved cautiously — and went back out.
She should have left.
She should have left the moment Petra touched her arm forty minutes later and said with warm sincerity that Evelyn had spent a lifetime learning to distrust, “You absolutely have to come meet Helena Marsh. She’s on the acquisition committee for the city arts council. She’s been asking about local designers.”
Evelyn followed her. Threading through the crowd. Holding her body at the precise angle that kept the weakened seam stable.
Petra led her to the center of the room, to a cluster of eight or ten people that included Vanessa and Margot and a silver-haired woman who was probably Helena Marsh. Evelyn smiled and started to extend her hand.
Petra knocked her arm.
She would think later that it was deliberate, though she could never prove it. Could never prove anything about that night except what she felt in her own body. Petra knocked her arm hard with the edge of her elbow, and Evelyn stumbled, one hand going out to catch her balance, the other arm swinging wide.
The seam went.
It did not tear dramatically. It simply opened. The left panel of the bodice separated from the dress with a quiet sound that no one else would have heard over the music and the conversation, but the effect was immediate and unmistakable. The fabric gaped. In the cold light of the chandelier, with ten people now looking directly at her, Evelyn stood with her dress falling open from her left side.
She had exactly three seconds where her mind went completely blank.
Then Vanessa laughed.
Not the public laugh. The real one. Surprised out of her almost — the way genuine reaction sometimes escaped people before the performance layer could catch it. Just a single sound, half a second, instantly swallowed back behind a hand pressed to her mouth.
But it was enough. Petra laughed too. Margot turned away with a deliberateness that was its own kind of cruelty. Two of the other people in the cluster simply stared. The silver-haired woman who was probably Helena Marsh looked at Evelyn with the particular expression of someone watching an embarrassment they do not intend to involve themselves in.
Someone said, “Oh my,” in the tone people used for minor disasters.
Evelyn pulled the fabric closed with her left hand and held it there. Her face was burning. She could feel the heat of it from her throat to her temples, the kind of flush that came from humiliation rather than shame, because she had not done anything to be ashamed of. She was only ashamed of how badly she wanted to disappear.
She had wanted to disappear her entire life. And right now, standing in the center of the Winter Crest Gala with her hand clutching her dress together while Vanessa composed her mouth back into appropriate concern and said, “Evie, sweetheart, are you all right?” — she wanted it more than she had ever wanted anything.
She did not cry. She was proud of that later.
She did not run. She said, “Excuse me,” in a voice she did not recognize as her own — too flat, too quiet. And she walked — not toward the exit, she did not want to cross the length of the ballroom with her hand pressed to her side like she was holding herself together — but toward the far end of the room, where the tall French doors opened onto a terrace.
She pushed through the nearest set of doors, and the cold hit her like a wall — hard and immediate and almost welcome, because it stopped the burning in her face and gave her something physical to process instead.
The terrace was empty. Too cold for anyone sensible to be outside. The iron railing was glazed with ice, and the stones under her feet were treacherous. Evelyn walked to the railing anyway and gripped it with both hands — her right hand, because her left was still holding the dress together — and looked out at the park below.
She did not cry. She was calculating. That was what she did when she was frightened and cornered. She calculated. She measured. She tried to find the thread she could pull to hold things together.
How long had Vanessa been planning this? Whether the photographer she had noticed near the cluster of people had gotten a shot before Evelyn moved. Whether Frank from real estate would still be interested in custom suits.
She was so deep in her own calculations that she did not hear the French door open behind her.
She heard the match strike.
The sound was unmistakable — the sharp rasp of a wooden match against its box. Then the brief flare reflected in the window of the door to her right, a small, warm doubling of light against all the cold.
She turned.
He was standing at the far end of the terrace near a stone column, and she had not seen him because he was the kind of person who occupied shadow with complete ease. The kind of person who was always exactly where he intended to be.
He was tall — not dramatically so, but enough. Dark coat. No tie. He held the match to a cigarette she had not noticed, drew on it once, and shook the match out.
He had not looked at her — or rather, he had glanced at her when she turned, the quick assessing look of someone establishing that a new presence in a space was not a threat, and then he had looked away, back at the city, back at the dark mass of the park.
She should have gone back inside.
She did not.
She turned back to the railing and tried to reset her breathing. The cold kept coming — that particular Chicago January cold that did not negotiate. She stood in her ruined dress with her hand pressed to her side, and she was shaking now, although she was not sure how much of it was temperature.
“You’re holding the seam.”
She turned. He was looking at her now. Not with the social look that people used at events like this — the smile cocked at half-mast, the practiced interest — but directly, steadily, with the kind of attention that most people reserved for things that actually mattered to them.
He had a long face. A jaw that looked like it had been broken once and healed slightly wrong. Dark eyes that did not give anything away for free.
“Excuse me?”
“Your left hand. You’re holding the seam closed.” His voice was low and had a flatness to it — a midwestern absence of affect that was not coldness so much as economy. “Loose thread or cut?”
She stared at him. “How do you know the difference?”
“Because loose thread you would be annoyed. You look like something else.”
The something else was humiliation, but she was not going to say that to a stranger on a freezing terrace.
“It was sewn to fail.” She heard the anger in her own voice for the first time — clean and sharp under everything else. “Someone altered the stitching.”
He drew on the cigarette once more and exhaled toward the park. “Someone at the party? Someone before the party?”
She nodded.
He looked at her for a moment. Then he reached into the inside pocket of his coat and produced something she did not expect — a small fold of black fabric, not quite the size of his palm, and a safety pin.
The safety pin was gold. It looked like it had been there for a while.
May you like
She blinked. “You carry a safety pin.”
“My assistant makes me. In case of —” he paused, something that was not quite a smile moving at the corner of his mouth — “structural failures.”